Words hurt

As taken from www.wordpress.com

There’s an old children’s saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” If only that were true, but it’s a fable that needs to be laid to rest. Words can hurt a lot more than sticks and stones. They may not break bones, but they can surely break hearts. Words can devastate. Words can wound. Words can ruin reputations and destroy relationships. There’s just no doubt about it-words hurt.

Judging, cruel, venomous, and hateful words are verbal abuse at its worst. They leave long lasting emotional cuts and bruises. When someone hurts us, we play the tape over and over. No matter how many times we try to dismiss the hurtful tirade, sometimes those words are with us for a very long time. There may be words from your childhood that you still can’t escape. Stupid, Fatso, Ugly, Lazy, Crybaby, Dummy, Loser, Moron, Sissy, Chicken, Racial slurs such as the word n****, even when used as a word between colleagues can also be a hurtful inappropriate word. It starts with one word when we’re young, but as we grow, the hurtful sentiments become phrases and even paragraphs. If we don’t find a way to heal, they can cause lasting, permanent damage.

Some people are so angry and bitter that they are ready to strike out at everyone. Their words are a reflection of their souls. The tongue only speaks what comes from the heart. Often they are angry, bitter, resentful people who want everyone to be as miserable as they are. They need healing and deliverance. And they need to understand that so called “honesty” is never an excuse for rudeness or cruelty.

I have felt my heart physically ache from the pain of hurtful words. I have cried myself to sleep when words have wounded me deeply. A broken spirit is much harder to heal than a broken bone.

Even strong people will often collapse under the continual verbal attack of someone who really wants to wound them. Proverbs 11: 9 says, “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys a neighbor.” Proverbs 12:18 reminds us, “Reckless words pierce like a sword…” Put-downs are designed to gain control over someone else. (Hence, a lot of the “bullying” that children face in school and elsewhere.) When the person is confronted for their inappropriate actions, and not allowed to be in control, they get even nastier.

If someone continues to treat us with cruelty and disrespect, it is time to consider distancing ourselves from them. They are detrimental to our self-esteem, and quite frankly, we just don’t need those kind of people in our lives. It’s important to have boundaries, and to know your limits as to what you will allow.

Those closest to us have an extra advantage when it comes to wounding, because they know our vulnerabilities, and we care what they think of us. A few well chosen words can annihilate. When they use intimate knowledge of our weaknesses, it is the worst kind of betrayal.

Words are responsible for wars, and the end of friendships.

Verbal abuse is more than an occasional raised voice. It can include intimidation, making fun of someone, threats, embarrassment, or an attempt to control, manipulate, or demean another. When these things occur, it is not okay; it is verbal abuse. Verbal abusers will try to put the blame on you, and make you feel like you did something to deserve their cruelty, when, in fact, you did not. They need to take responsibility for their actions. No one has a right to verbally abuse you because you don’t agree with them. They intentionally use the words they do, because they know they cause pain.

Remember, words can be weapons. Words can destroy. The scars they leave can be more painful than a physical assault…

Youth Violence Prevention

Youth Violence: Prevention Strategies

Youth violence is a serious problem that can have lasting harmful effects on victims and their family, friends, and communities. The goal for youth violence prevention is simple—to stop youth violence from happening in the first place. However, the solutions are just as complex as the problem. Prevention efforts should ultimately reduce risk factors and promote protective factors. Additionally, prevention should address all levels that influence youth violence: individual, relationship, community, and society. Effective prevention strategies are necessary to promote awareness about youth violence and to foster the commitment to social change. Youth violence prevention—one of the oldest fields in violence—continues to advance rapidly. Many prevention tools have been developed and implemented, with a growing body of data available on the outcomes. This literature has been summarized and promising resources have been identified. This section links to resources and organizations that can be helpful in planning youth violence prevention and education programs. These and many other resources can be found at the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. Strategies recommended by these organizations may or may not have empirical evidence supporting their effectiveness, but are provided for informational purposes.

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center Developed by CDC in partnership with 10 other federal agencies, the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (NYVPRC) provides current information about youth violence. NYVPRC is a gateway for professionals, parents, teens, and others interested in obtaining comprehensive information about youth violence and suicide prevention.

Blueprints for Violence Prevention Blueprints for Violence Prevention is a project conducted by the Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence (CSPV), University of Colorado at Boulder, with funding from CDC, the Colorado Division of Criminal Justice, and the Pennsylvania Commission on Crime and Delinquency. Eleven prevention and intervention programs were identified that meet a strict scientific standard of program effectiveness. The model programs, called Blueprints, effectively reduce adolescent violent crime, aggression, delinquency, and substance abuse. Another 18 programs have been identified as promising programs.
Best Practices of Youth Violence Prevention: A Sourcebook for Community Action is designed to help communities develop and implement youth violence prevention programs. Best Practices presents four key strategies for preventing youth violence: school-based programs, mentoring programs, parenting and family-based programs, and home visitation. The sourcebook builds upon lessons learned from the first CDC-funded evaluation projects and draws upon the expertise of more than 100 of the nation’s leading scientists and practitioners. It provides communities with information to develop, implement, and evaluate prevention programs. A Spanish version of Best Practices is available to organizations that address violence in Hispanic and Latino communities.

Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General, the first Surgeon General's report on youth violence in the United States, summarizes an extensive body of research and seeks to clarify seemingly contradictory trends. The report describes research identifying and clarifying the risk factors for youth violence; it also describes studies identifying developmental pathways that may lead a young person into a violent lifestyle. Further, the report explores less well-researched factors that seem to protect youth from viewing violence as an acceptable—or inevitable—way of approaching or responding to life events. Finally, the report reviews research on the effectiveness of specific strategies and programs designed to reduce and prevent youth violence.

Compendium of Assessment Tools for Youth ViolenceMeasuring Violence-Related Attitudes, Behaviors, and Influences Among Youths: A Compendium of Assessment Tools—Second Edition provides researchers and prevention specialists with more than 170 measures to assess risk behavior and to evaluate programs to prevent youth violence.
School Health IndexSchool Health Index is a self-assessment and planning tool that enables a school to identify the strengths and weaknesses of its health and safety policies and programs; develop an action plan for improving student health and safety; and involve teachers, parents, students, and the community in improving school services.

School Health Guidelines to Prevent Unintentional Injuries and Violence The School Health Guidelines to Prevent Unintentional Injuries and Violence help state and local educational agencies and schools promote safety and teach students the skills needed to prevent injuries and violence. It provides guidance for all components of a coordinated school health program for all grade levels. CDC developed the Guidelines in collaboration with specialists from universities and from federal, state, and local agencies and organizations. This guidance is based on an in-depth review of research, theory, and current practice in unintentional injury, violence, and suicide prevention; health education; and public health.

U.S. Department of Education, Office of Safe and Drug-Free SchoolsThe Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools (OSDFS) administers, coordinates, and recommends policy for improving quality and excellence of programs and activities that support drug and violence prevention activities and activities that promote the health and well being of students in elementary and secondary schools and institutions of higher education.

DisclaimerLinks to organizations found at this site are provided solely as a service. They do not constitute an endorsement of these organizations or their programs by the Centers for Disease Control Prevention (CDC), the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (NCIPC), or the Federal government, and none should be inferred. CDC and NCIPC are not responsible for the content of the individual organizations' Web pages found at these links. The strategies recommended by these organizations may or may not have empirical evidence supporting their effectiveness.