Words hurt

As taken from www.wordpress.com

There’s an old children’s saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” If only that were true, but it’s a fable that needs to be laid to rest. Words can hurt a lot more than sticks and stones. They may not break bones, but they can surely break hearts. Words can devastate. Words can wound. Words can ruin reputations and destroy relationships. There’s just no doubt about it-words hurt.

Judging, cruel, venomous, and hateful words are verbal abuse at its worst. They leave long lasting emotional cuts and bruises. When someone hurts us, we play the tape over and over. No matter how many times we try to dismiss the hurtful tirade, sometimes those words are with us for a very long time. There may be words from your childhood that you still can’t escape. Stupid, Fatso, Ugly, Lazy, Crybaby, Dummy, Loser, Moron, Sissy, Chicken, Racial slurs such as the word n****, even when used as a word between colleagues can also be a hurtful inappropriate word. It starts with one word when we’re young, but as we grow, the hurtful sentiments become phrases and even paragraphs. If we don’t find a way to heal, they can cause lasting, permanent damage.

Some people are so angry and bitter that they are ready to strike out at everyone. Their words are a reflection of their souls. The tongue only speaks what comes from the heart. Often they are angry, bitter, resentful people who want everyone to be as miserable as they are. They need healing and deliverance. And they need to understand that so called “honesty” is never an excuse for rudeness or cruelty.

I have felt my heart physically ache from the pain of hurtful words. I have cried myself to sleep when words have wounded me deeply. A broken spirit is much harder to heal than a broken bone.

Even strong people will often collapse under the continual verbal attack of someone who really wants to wound them. Proverbs 11: 9 says, “The hypocrite with his mouth destroys a neighbor.” Proverbs 12:18 reminds us, “Reckless words pierce like a sword…” Put-downs are designed to gain control over someone else. (Hence, a lot of the “bullying” that children face in school and elsewhere.) When the person is confronted for their inappropriate actions, and not allowed to be in control, they get even nastier.

If someone continues to treat us with cruelty and disrespect, it is time to consider distancing ourselves from them. They are detrimental to our self-esteem, and quite frankly, we just don’t need those kind of people in our lives. It’s important to have boundaries, and to know your limits as to what you will allow.

Those closest to us have an extra advantage when it comes to wounding, because they know our vulnerabilities, and we care what they think of us. A few well chosen words can annihilate. When they use intimate knowledge of our weaknesses, it is the worst kind of betrayal.

Words are responsible for wars, and the end of friendships.

Verbal abuse is more than an occasional raised voice. It can include intimidation, making fun of someone, threats, embarrassment, or an attempt to control, manipulate, or demean another. When these things occur, it is not okay; it is verbal abuse. Verbal abusers will try to put the blame on you, and make you feel like you did something to deserve their cruelty, when, in fact, you did not. They need to take responsibility for their actions. No one has a right to verbally abuse you because you don’t agree with them. They intentionally use the words they do, because they know they cause pain.

Remember, words can be weapons. Words can destroy. The scars they leave can be more painful than a physical assault…

Youth Violence Prevention

Youth Violence: Prevention Strategies

Youth violence is a serious problem that can have lasting harmful effects on victims and their family, friends, and communities. The goal for youth violence prevention is simple—to stop youth violence from happening in the first place. However, the solutions are just as complex as the problem. Prevention efforts should ultimately reduce risk factors and promote protective factors. Additionally, prevention should address all levels that influence youth violence: individual, relationship, community, and society. Effective prevention strategies are necessary to promote awareness about youth violence and to foster the commitment to social change. Youth violence prevention—one of the oldest fields in violence—continues to advance rapidly. Many prevention tools have been developed and implemented, with a growing body of data available on the outcomes. This literature has been summarized and promising resources have been identified. This section links to resources and organizations that can be helpful in planning youth violence prevention and education programs. These and many other resources can be found at the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center. Strategies recommended by these organizations may or may not have empirical evidence supporting their effectiveness, but are provided for informational purposes.

National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center Developed by CDC in partnership with 10 other federal agencies, the National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (NYVPRC) provides current information about youth violence. NYVPRC is a gateway for professionals, parents, teens, and others interested in obtaining comprehensive information about youth violence and suicide prevention.

Blueprints for Violence Prevention Blueprints for Violence Prevention is a project conducted by the Center for the Study and Prevention of Violence (CSPV), University of Colorado at Boulder, with funding from CDC, the Colorado Division of Criminal Justice, and the Pennsylvania Commission on Crime and Delinquency. Eleven prevention and intervention programs were identified that meet a strict scientific standard of program effectiveness. The model programs, called Blueprints, effectively reduce adolescent violent crime, aggression, delinquency, and substance abuse. Another 18 programs have been identified as promising programs.
Best Practices of Youth Violence Prevention: A Sourcebook for Community Action is designed to help communities develop and implement youth violence prevention programs. Best Practices presents four key strategies for preventing youth violence: school-based programs, mentoring programs, parenting and family-based programs, and home visitation. The sourcebook builds upon lessons learned from the first CDC-funded evaluation projects and draws upon the expertise of more than 100 of the nation’s leading scientists and practitioners. It provides communities with information to develop, implement, and evaluate prevention programs. A Spanish version of Best Practices is available to organizations that address violence in Hispanic and Latino communities.

Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General Youth Violence: A Report of the Surgeon General, the first Surgeon General's report on youth violence in the United States, summarizes an extensive body of research and seeks to clarify seemingly contradictory trends. The report describes research identifying and clarifying the risk factors for youth violence; it also describes studies identifying developmental pathways that may lead a young person into a violent lifestyle. Further, the report explores less well-researched factors that seem to protect youth from viewing violence as an acceptable—or inevitable—way of approaching or responding to life events. Finally, the report reviews research on the effectiveness of specific strategies and programs designed to reduce and prevent youth violence.

Compendium of Assessment Tools for Youth ViolenceMeasuring Violence-Related Attitudes, Behaviors, and Influences Among Youths: A Compendium of Assessment Tools—Second Edition provides researchers and prevention specialists with more than 170 measures to assess risk behavior and to evaluate programs to prevent youth violence.
School Health IndexSchool Health Index is a self-assessment and planning tool that enables a school to identify the strengths and weaknesses of its health and safety policies and programs; develop an action plan for improving student health and safety; and involve teachers, parents, students, and the community in improving school services.

School Health Guidelines to Prevent Unintentional Injuries and Violence The School Health Guidelines to Prevent Unintentional Injuries and Violence help state and local educational agencies and schools promote safety and teach students the skills needed to prevent injuries and violence. It provides guidance for all components of a coordinated school health program for all grade levels. CDC developed the Guidelines in collaboration with specialists from universities and from federal, state, and local agencies and organizations. This guidance is based on an in-depth review of research, theory, and current practice in unintentional injury, violence, and suicide prevention; health education; and public health.

U.S. Department of Education, Office of Safe and Drug-Free SchoolsThe Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools (OSDFS) administers, coordinates, and recommends policy for improving quality and excellence of programs and activities that support drug and violence prevention activities and activities that promote the health and well being of students in elementary and secondary schools and institutions of higher education.

DisclaimerLinks to organizations found at this site are provided solely as a service. They do not constitute an endorsement of these organizations or their programs by the Centers for Disease Control Prevention (CDC), the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control (NCIPC), or the Federal government, and none should be inferred. CDC and NCIPC are not responsible for the content of the individual organizations' Web pages found at these links. The strategies recommended by these organizations may or may not have empirical evidence supporting their effectiveness.

Increase Your Confidence

Manly men are confident men. People are attracted to men who project confidence. Some mope around with their head down, wallowing in self pity. But when a man walks into a room who has acquired this confidence, people can feel it.
The steps below will get you on the right track for increasing your confidence. Implement them into your life and you’ll see results quickly.

Spruce up your appearance. Take time for proper grooming and dressing. Does this mean you have to go metrosexual and lather yourself in creams? No. It does mean to take time for a basic grooming routine and learning the basics of dressing appropriately. Shower and shave everyday. Brush your teeth. Run a comb through your hair. While these things are simple, you’d be surprised by the number of men who fail to do them.
In addition, take time to actually dress yourself in the morning. Wearing sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt makes you look like a bum, not someone who is confident. A good rule of thumb is to dress so you wouldn’t be embarrassed to meet a woman or business contact later for an impromptu lunch. You’ll be able to strike the right balance of casualness and formality.
In addition, take time to actually dress yourself in the morning. Wearing sweat pants and a ratty t-shirt makes you look like a bum, not someone who is confident. A good rule of thumb is to dress so you wouldn’t be embarrassed to meet a woman or business contact later for an impromptu lunch. You’ll be able to strike the right balance of casualness and formality.

Set goals and meet them. Confident men make goals and keep them. Goals are promises we make to ourselves. How can you have confidence in yourself if you can’t keep a promise to yourself? Start making and keeping goals today by setting one goal that you can accomplish today and do it. If you constantly sleep in, make a goal to wake up early and do it. If you feel unorganized, make it goal to plan your day out and do it. By setting and keeping small goals, you’ll start to increase your confidence. As your confidence increases, you’ll be able to set and achieve bigger goals which in turn boosts your confidence even more. It’s a self feeding cycle, but it all starts with keeping small goals.

Exercise. Nothing can boost manly confidence like exercise. The increased blood flow makes you feel good and hormones are released that boost your confidence. You don’t need a gym membership to start exercising. None of the exercises require weights and the routine takes about 15 minutes to do.

Learn a new skill. Confident men are constant learners. By learning a new skill, you demonstrate to yourself that you’re capable of adapting to anything that life throws at you. There are millions of skills that you can acquire in this life. Find one you’ve always wanted to know and get to work on it. Want to know a martial art? Call a dojo and sign up for a class. Want to learn how to fix a car? Go to the library today and check out books on auto repair.

Take stock of past success. Sit down in your man chair and dim the lights. Think back to moments in life when you were successful. They don’t have to be huge successes. By remembering past successes, you’ll show yourself you’re not a complete screw up. Realizing you can succeed breeds confidence to take on new activities. Write down these pasts successes in a journal. When you need a confidence boost, whip it out and look through them.

Top Ten Ways to Be Green

Tip #1: Unplug

Taking a few minutes to turn off electrical devices won't just help you save the planet, it can also help you save a few bucks off your electric bill each month. At home, go ahead and turn off the lights when leaving a room (chances are the walls and floor won't mind the dark)!
Take an extra few seconds to shut down your computer and printer instead of letting them idle, and-annoying as it sounds-make morning a routine of unplugging TVs, fans and stereos before leaving for work. Like any routine, you'll get used to doing it in no time flat. When you're looking to buy new major appliances, go for energy efficient models with fewer frills-that icemaker requires more power than you think! Check out Energy Star and Greener Choices for efficiency ratings for new purchases. If you already own an appliance, remember to clean AC filters, insulate water heaters, and do other simple maintenance to maximize energy savings. Simply put, less energy = less pollution.

Tip #2: Use Less Water

Did you know that in the average home, the water heater is second only to the heating system in energy usage? Here's how to use less. Go ahead and turn the water heater down to 120°. Wash full loads of laundry in cool water. If you've just got to use hot, rinse in cold. In the bathroom, skip the water-wasting steam bath and opt for the quick shower. Install low flow showerheads and faucet aerators, and turn the water off when you're shaving or brushing.
Have to let it run to heat up? Catch it and water the plants later. Thinking about the long haul? Try setting up a solar powered water heating system.

Tip #3: Switch to Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs

Don't even try to front: You've been avoiding fluorescent bulbs because you fear flashbacks to the industrial pallor and buzzing tubes of your grade school. But fluorescent bulbs have come a long way, babe. Watch for ones with higher lumens (not watts) for brighter light; read carefully for a color rendering index (CRI) of 80<, or cues like "warmer light," to get closer to incandescence while saving $30 in energy costs over the life of each bulb. Not to mention the benefit to the planet: EnergyStar has dozens of similes to tell you how much less pollution you generate by simply replacing your feverish incandescent bulbs with chill fluorescent ones, but they all add up to a huge benefit for the earth.

Tip #4: Choose Products With Less Packaging

Think of the layers of armor that separate you from a new consumer good. The precious cargo is placed inside a pouch inside a plastic outer-shell inside a paper sleeve, then bagged for easy transport. Sounds cute for Russian dolls. But for a stick of gum or a fresh razor blade, it's infuriating, time-consuming, and a waste of resources. With so many similar products crowding store aisles, try choosing one that sports less packaging. (You'll find that companies that give careful thought to packaging waste are probably considerate of, say, pesticide-free agriculture or humane working conditions, too.) Don't have time to comparison-shop? Simply buying product refills can assuage your conscience, and save a few cents. Bring your canvas tote to the grocery store to get everything home. Think similarly for restaurants: that pile of plates, napkins, plastic utensils and condiments could easily be spared by making your takeout eat-in.

Tip #5: Buy Organic and Local Foods

Did you know that the strawberries you ate on your breakfast cereal might have traveled as many as 1500 miles to get to your bowl? Buying locally grown produce, whether it's from a greenmarket, a farm stand, or a conscientious supermarket, can conserve fuel, reduce pollution, and support your local economy ... not to mention, produce grown nearby doesn't require preservatives and waxing to keep it fresh. Likewise, spending the extra money on organic produce will not only keep you from potentially ingesting toxic pesticides, but it's good for the environment. Support organic farmers, and you'll be helping to protect water from pollutants, cut down on soil erosion, and conserve the energy and expense it takes to produce synthetic fertilizers and pesticides. Plus, there's no doubt about it-organic and locally grown produce just tastes better.

Tip #6: Drive Less

A daily car commute of 20 miles round trip can add up to more than $2,000 per year, parking not included. If you work in an office, ask the HR department about any carpooling hookups and free or deeply discounted bus, train or subway passes; check your city's website for relevant routes. (Use the commute to read up on peak oil theory.)
Better yet, buy a basket and some decent rain fenders for your bike and ride to the office -- and to the post office, your dentist appointment, the grocery store. Sure, you can't fit as much on a bike as in a car, but shopping more often means fresher produce, thus tastier meals -- which you'll need after burning all those calories. Replacing even one or two car trips a week will trim your fuel bill (and probably your waistline), but driving smarter can also help. Combine multiple errands into one trip, frequent nearby shops, and try to group your family's appointments together. Think about the most efficient route before heading out, and try to avoid busier traffic times.

Tip #7: Plant a Tree

No gardening project offers quite such instant gratification as planting your own tree. You get exercise, immediate visual stimulation, and some serious self-satisfaction. Your tree will convert nasty pollutants to pure oxygen and offer a welcome to wildlife -- and tree roots can help stay erosion. Trees absorb carbon dioxide, helping to reduce global warming. Depending on what kind of tree you choose, and where you plant it, the shade can gradually help to cool your home as well as offer a perfect spot for contemplation, meditation or recreation. Trees are charming planted for a child as a living growth chart, or in memory of a loved one. You can also donate money to have trees planted all over the world, at brownspaces or devastated places where they are most needed.

Tip #8: Recycle More

Savvy shopping and a little creativity can keep your trash pile from mounting. Judge products by their recycled packaging, such as bottles, cans, paper wrappings, and cereal boxes. Choose stationery and other supplies made from recyclable materials that are better the second time around. Take your used car batteries, antifreeze, and motor oil back to participating mechanics. Return plastic bags to the grocery store. Give old cell phones and cars to your favorite charity. Compost your leftovers and keep your lawn well fed by letting grass-mown clippings lie.
Think outside that empty cardboard box: It's a fairytale fort for a five-year-old. Finally, hang an old flat tire to a tree and make a swing for green-minded folks of all ages.

Tip #9: Switch to "Green" Power via Your Local Utility Company

In many states, you can opt to purchase renewable energy from your local power company, and then rest easy knowing you just sent that email from your wind- or methane-powered computer. To find out if your local utility has a green power source, check the Green Power Network's U.S. map. Austin Energy generated the most green power last year, followed by Portland General Electric. Xcel Energy (in Colorado and elsewhere) had the highest number of customers who purchased renewable energy (more than 49,354). Help nudge your local utility toward a deeper shade of green by opting into their renewable energy program.

Tip #10: Spread the Word

Use the web as your own personal bullhorn to make the world a greener place. Inform your inner circle about good causes or upcoming legislation via e-mail. You can also direct friends to Live the Change to familiarize themselves with personal impact calculators, simple tips, activism options, and blogs of others in the community who are trying to make the planet a little greener. If you have a blog or website, start posting information about the issues that matter to you. Awareness is the key to a sustainable planet, and the web gives you a powerful way to be part of the solution.

Courtesy of Yahoo! Green